Lenai Arina
Genin
Konoha no Shinobi Team 19
Hopes lead to pain and wishing is impractical. But I can't seem to stop...
Posts: 218
|
Post by Lenai Arina on May 2, 2008 7:13:12 GMT -5
I got this off my strange news source. Tickle me terrified Murderous Muppet? Hmmm. He must be set to "evil." A Florida family wasn't tickled when their talking Elmo doll started making death threats against their 2-year-old son. Apparently, once the family put fresh batteries in James Bowman's Elmo, the doll went all Chucky on them, Tampa Bay Online reports. "It's not something that really you would think would ever come out of a toy," Melissa Bowman told TBO.com. "But once I heard, I was just kind of distraught." What she heard was a fuzzy red Sesame Street character say "Kill James" in a merry, sing-song, tickle-me-terrified kind of voice. The Elmo Knows Your Name doll, aside from having a really creepy moniker, connects to a computer to learn certain words and phrases. But the Bowmans aren't sure how Elmo learned to issue death threats against a toddler. Fisher-Price said they will issue the family a voucher for a new Elmo. They plan to examine James' doll and check to see if other Elmos are inciting violence elsewhere in the country. www.beloblog.com/KHOU_weirdworld/2008/02/man-miffed-when-stickypawed-po.html#moreWeird, huh? I ALWAYS KNEW ELMO WAS EVIL!
|
|
|
Post by Orochimaru on May 2, 2008 8:05:49 GMT -5
And when I tell you people the world is doomed. Like we don't have enough human retards, now toys have been contaminated too! xDD
|
|
|
Post by dster on May 9, 2008 21:00:51 GMT -5
...Ohmigash. xDD I live in the Tampa Bay area and I haven't heard anything of this (although i have neglected to turn on the news lately o.O). Oh dear. I told joo that Florida was an evil state! D<
|
|
Lenai Arina
Genin
Konoha no Shinobi Team 19
Hopes lead to pain and wishing is impractical. But I can't seem to stop...
Posts: 218
|
Post by Lenai Arina on May 15, 2008 14:44:10 GMT -5
Actually that was pulled from the archives. I've been reading through them. Mostly because a lot of this stuff is hilarious. People are stupid. This one's current though. And I remembered to underline the title this time!
Dude defeats great white with pokey finger
When Jason Cull was swimming off the waters of a popular beach in Australia Saturday, he wasn't counting on a great white shark crashing his aqua party.
But that great white wasn't counting on Cull having guts of steel and a quick draw on his pokey finger either.
When the shark approached the 37-year-old swimmer and chomped down on his leg, Cull didn't panic.
Instead, he busted some serious slapstick-style eye-pokeage all up in the shark's face, the AFP reports.
"It banged straight into me, and it grabbed me by the leg and dragged me under the water," Cull said.
"I just remember being dragged backwards underwater. I felt along it, I found its eye and I poked it in the eye, and that's when it let go."
Note to self: Pokey fingers are like kryptonite to giant, hungry sharks.
Cull got away and was pulled to safety by a beachgoer.
He had some chunks taken out of his leg, but he is expected to recover.
|
|
Lenai Arina
Genin
Konoha no Shinobi Team 19
Hopes lead to pain and wishing is impractical. But I can't seem to stop...
Posts: 218
|
Post by Lenai Arina on Jun 2, 2008 15:44:32 GMT -5
Okay loves, this one's back from some time last April. So don't worry, I'm sure they've fixed those toilets by now...
Things that make you go 'BOOM'
In case you didn't have enough to worry about, a Japanese company has made a spontaneously flaming toilet.
The country's leading potty producer, Toto Ltd., is warning consumers that 180,000 of its bidet toilets may randomly catch fire, Reuters reports.
Nothing is more unfortunate than an explosive restroom situation.
Apparently the Z series electric bidet burst into flames on three separate occasions in the last year, company spokeswoman Emi Tanaka said.
The same costly can started smoking (but never actually combusted) in 26 additional incidents.
"Fortunately, nobody was using the toilets when the fire broke out and there were no injuries," Tanaka said. "The fire would have been just under your buttocks."
The company is offering to fix the faulty flushers for free.
High-tech toilets have been popular in Japan for years and are often a fixture in people's homes. Toto is known as the leader of the luxury loo.
The Z series boasts a pulsating massage spray, a power dryer, a built-in-the-bowl air freshening filter, an automatic lid and the "Tornado Wash" flush. No word on whether it does your taxes or cleans your house.
The model, which (thankfully) is not sold overseas, runs from $1.680 to $2,600.
|
|
|
Post by shishiharu on Jun 2, 2008 17:59:40 GMT -5
Um..about the exploding toliets....my bad >___>
xDD
|
|
|
Post by dster on Jun 2, 2008 18:12:49 GMT -5
8O U! I knew it, Haru!
Lmfao. x3
|
|
Lenai Arina
Genin
Konoha no Shinobi Team 19
Hopes lead to pain and wishing is impractical. But I can't seem to stop...
Posts: 218
|
Post by Lenai Arina on Jun 3, 2008 10:05:24 GMT -5
This one's June of last year. I thought it was a little appropriate. And I'd love to see this on the presidential ballot.
Weird World: Candidates names get lost in translation ... Really lost
Ah, politics.
The inescapable bane of your nightly news. Posturing politicians have had their undergarments in a bunch about the 2008 elections for some time, and it's unlikely to abate anytime soon.
But regardless of which side of the aisle you favor, or if you're even in the building, you can probably think of a few choice names to hurl in the general direction of many of the folks in the running.
"Oh Bus Horse" probably isn't one of them.
That's how Barack Obama's name might read on ballots election officials are trying to translate into Chinese. Teehee.
State Secretary William Galvin says the federal Justice Department wants election officials in Boston to translate the candidates' monikers into Chinese characters in order to better serve Chinese-speaking precincts, the Associated Press reports.
Problem is, there is no Mitt Romney in Chinese.
A vote for Mitt Romney in Chinese is, in fact, a vote for "Sticky Rice." Mmmmm ... Mitt Romney.
So why do the names of candidates get lost in translation?
In Chinese, there aren't any characters for words like "Romney" or "Obama," so translators are forced to find characters that best match the different syllables in each presidential wannabe's name.
Can't get enough of Fred Thompson? You can cast your vote for "Virtue Soup."
Perhaps the most amusing of all isn't running for president, he's Boston's Mayor Thomas Merino.
I can almost see his campaign ...
Thomas Merino for mayor: Some call him "Sun Moon Rainbow Farmer."
Awesome.
Merino's name can also translate into "Imbecile" or even "Barbarian Mud No Mind of His Own," for those who are feeling particularly vindictive.
Galvin, or "Stick Mosquito," if you prefer, says that when translators try to make rhymes or approximations in Chinese, the results are often confusing -- and can even carry negative connotations.
But minority voting advocates say Stick Mosquito's argument is bunk.
"We are looking to make sure Asian Americans are able to vote for their candidates of choice," Glenn Magpantay, staff attorney of the New York-based Asian American Defense Fund, told the Boston Globe. "This is difficult to do when voters with limited English proficiency cannot find those candidates."
|
|
Lenai Arina
Genin
Konoha no Shinobi Team 19
Hopes lead to pain and wishing is impractical. But I can't seem to stop...
Posts: 218
|
Post by Lenai Arina on Jun 5, 2008 12:32:14 GMT -5
Yeeeah...Not even gonna comment on this one...This was yesterday by the way.
Surprise! Bare bottomed man crashes dinner party
Greetings, readers. Today's entry comes directly from the Dept. of The-Butt-of-One's-Own-Joke.
A 21-year-old Dutch man and his buddies thought running down the street with their bottoms exposed would be funny.
But fate thought it would be funnier if one of them fell through a restaurant window along the way, posterior-first, The Associated Press reports.
Taa-daa!
Everything was going fine with their cheeky trick until the unlucky prankster pressed his rear against the window of an eatery.
It seems he did a liiiiitle too enthusiastically, because the whole thing shattered upon impact and he went tumbling through.
Police detained all three of the moonies.
The guy who crashed the party ended up having his injuries treated at a nearby hospital.
The owner of the restaurant apparently thought falling into a crowded restaurant with one's pants around one's knees was punishment enough and agreed not to press charges if the three would replace the window.
|
|
Lenai Arina
Genin
Konoha no Shinobi Team 19
Hopes lead to pain and wishing is impractical. But I can't seem to stop...
Posts: 218
|
Post by Lenai Arina on Jun 18, 2008 14:49:12 GMT -5
Man busted wearing diaper full of heroin
Ahhhh, the great American road trip.
You know, just you, the great outdoors, the open road and your buddy with the diaper full of heroin.
Wait a sec ... scratch that last part, unless, of course, you're friends with Frank Keys, Jr.
Keys was busted with more than 200 grams of heroin when sheriff's deputies pulled the car he was riding in over for a traffic stop in Louisiana, the Associated Press reports.
When they stopped the car, deputies and DEA agents got permission to search it, and the drug dogs went nuts over Keys' britches.
Keys told the officers he was wearing a diaper.
When they asked him if there was anything in it (shudder) Keys nodded his head in the affirmative.
I don't think there's any way the answer to that question could be good news, unless it was "no" ... or maybe "a million dollar check addressed to you."
The officers then removed a package from his unconventional storage unit, chock full of 257 grams of the lethal drug.
Keys could face 40 years in prison if convicted.
No word on the pending penalty from the fashion police
Yeah...No comment...
|
|
Lenai Arina
Genin
Konoha no Shinobi Team 19
Hopes lead to pain and wishing is impractical. But I can't seem to stop...
Posts: 218
|
Post by Lenai Arina on Jun 18, 2008 15:21:50 GMT -5
Condom couture hits the runways in Beijing 4:28 PM Wed, Jul 11, 2007
Strike a pose, ladies, but don't pop your sex suit!
Have you ever been to a fashion show and saw a piece of clothing that you just had to have, but because it didn't protect against sexually transmitted diseases, and it wasn't ribbed for your pleasure and it didn't come in a little plastic pouch, you just couldn't bring yourself to buy it?
Have we got some good news for you, you sick, sick freak.
Call it condom couture.
A fashion show in Beijing on Wednesday featured dresses, hats and lollipops (why not?) made of prophylactics, Reuters reports.
The models, wearing their best poker faces, sauntered through soap bubbles to display their wares -- everything from tight-fitting condom wedding gowns (no babies on THIS honeymoon, sucker!), rubber-y evening dresses (for the proudly promiscuous prom date), birth control bikinis and a bevy of other garments constructed from both inflated and deflated physician-approved protection.
I mean, what woman hasn't wanted to sheath herself in a spermicide-coated, unforgiving rubber cloak from hell?
The purpose of the event, contrary to what anyone with functional eyeballs might deduce, was not to make the models look as ridiculous as possible and make the audience thankful for their closet full of boring-but-fabric-appropriate duds from The Gap -- it was to promote the use of protection in the fight against AIDS.
Still no comment needed.
|
|
Lenai Arina
Genin
Konoha no Shinobi Team 19
Hopes lead to pain and wishing is impractical. But I can't seem to stop...
Posts: 218
|
Post by Lenai Arina on Jun 22, 2008 16:31:55 GMT -5
This just in from the Dept. of Duh: Clowns are scary Wed, Jan 16, 2008
Finally, a study to tell parents what screaming kids and years of post birthday party therapy have been saying for years: Do NOT send in the clowns.
The University of Sheffield in England recently conducted a poll that indicates that most kiddos think clowns are ... well ... horrifying.
In fact, every single child polled -- ranging from 4 to 16 years of age -- said they would like to give Bozo the boot, Reuters reports.
Awesome. And all this time you were wondering where you went wrong as a parent. I'd say it was in 1984, in that party in the backyard, when you invited the dude with the big wig and red nose. Thanks.
The study was actually conducted to determine how hospitals can improve the decor of children's wards.
"As adults we make assumptions about what works for children," said Penny Curtis, a senior lecturer at the university.
"We found that clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable."
I just have this to say. THANK GOD SOMEONE FINALLY GOT IT!
|
|
|
Post by Kurosawa Hayato on Jun 22, 2008 18:24:01 GMT -5
And that's why Stephen King's "It" / Pennywise the clown was the successful/frightening xDD
|
|
Lenai Arina
Genin
Konoha no Shinobi Team 19
Hopes lead to pain and wishing is impractical. But I can't seem to stop...
Posts: 218
|
Post by Lenai Arina on Jun 22, 2008 19:45:36 GMT -5
This just in from the Dept. of Nothing Better to Do:Sun, Oct 07, 2007 What's more fun than watching a big old block of stinky cheese get moldy? Watching a big old block of stinky cheese get moldy with a ball on top of it! Duh. A bunch of people desperately in need of a new hobby were simply delighted by a chunk of English cheddar when a patriotic rugby ball was placed on top of it ahead of England's Rugby World Cup quarterfinal match against Australia, Reuters reports. Man ... Ummm ... So, I'm guessing about ten people in the universe were aware of the Rugby World Cup, so that must mean at least three of them saw the cheese. Since it made its debut on www.cheddarvision.tv last year, the chunk of nacho-ready goodness has attracted 1.6 million page views. Seriously. And all it does is sit there and get old. I wonder if I put myself on the Web and just sat there, aging slowly, if people would watch me ... Fans say it's a soothing experience, and because of really exciting stunts like the placement of obscure sporting equipment atop the block of yum, one never knows what is coming next. Splendid. Wow...Yeah...No comment.
|
|
Lenai Arina
Genin
Konoha no Shinobi Team 19
Hopes lead to pain and wishing is impractical. But I can't seem to stop...
Posts: 218
|
Post by Lenai Arina on Jun 23, 2008 20:41:54 GMT -5
'What's done is done' ... but it isn't pretty Tue, Jul 10, 2007
There are some things that just go together: peanut butter and jelly, me and a giant wad of money, ranch dressing and just about anything...
And there are some things that don't -- namely, naked muddy actors and "Macbeth."
But it seems the fine folks at the Washington Shakespeare Company didn't get that memo. They're putting on a version of the famed work in the buff.
Avert thine eyes!
Director Jose Carrasquillo said he's trying to evoke a "really tribal, almost animal-like clan and society" with his show.
Apparently, "tribal, animal-like clans" consist of ten total strangers standing up on the stage with mud smeared on their bits, talking in Shakespeak and pretending to be trees.
Awesome.
Carrasquillo focused on the three witches that open the play, envisioning them as conjurers who bring the other actors to life.
The actors begin onstage as naked, dirty people pretending to be trees and are brought to life by the witches, at which point they become naked, dirty people pretending to be people who talk funny.
Audience response to the bare-butt action has been varied.
Some of the unfortunate folks in the front row cringe during the scenes and scoot back to less ... um ... personal locales a few rows back during intermission.
One man watched the whole thing with a program over his face that blocked his lower field of vision.
And others have no problem with it at all.
"It forces (the audience) to recognize that your own mores, your own values come into play," actor Sasha Olinick said.
The unique adaptation is a part of a six-month Shakespeare festival in the Washington area that's seen a bevy of unconventional versions of old Billy's works.
One version of "Macbeth" was performed entirely in Tlingit, an American Indian language spoken fluently by a grand total of about 300 people, and New York-based Tiny Ninja Theater used little toy ninjas and a big projection screen to retell "Hamlet."
I'm...I'm just gonna go and find something that makes sense now...
|
|